Tuesday, 3rd. February 2026

It would appear that the drab and monotonous Wet Month is followed immediately by the imaginatively titled sequel Wet Month II which, to the relief of everyone but mud surfers and other assorted misfits, I am pleased to report is shorter. I am reliably informed that sunset in south Devon will today occur at ten past five and, since the clearest evidence for this – the sun – will not be visible to us, we will only become aware of this phenomenon as we are enjoying the PM news programme on the wireless, and feel the urge to venture towards the light switch.

Being a person who wants to live in the future, but sadly tethered to the present against my will, I shall not, of course, be making the journey to the light switch. How quaint that would be. I shall engage an ‘app’ on my ‘phone to switch the lights on and, in all likelihood, select the ‘relax’ colour scheme. Or, if I am feeling particularly adventurous, I might just talk to the kitchen – “Siri, turn the kitchen lights on” – and it will respond in kind.

Sadly, I will have to cook my own dinner. I asked Siri to do it once and nothing happened for hours. I mean, absolutely nothing. I could have died of malnutrition! However, in a fit of positivity, I realised that I quite enjoy cooking and, in the future that I envision, we will manage to avoid morphing into limbless torsos unable to think or do anything for ourselves, which is where it seems we might be heading.