Substack diary no.147: Friday, 8th. May 2026

This morning I find myself staring at the books on the shelves straight ahead of me, with occasional sideways glances out of the window onto the gentle sunny spring morning outside where, in the sun, it is almost certainly warmer than the sitting room.

The view ahead of me is unchanging and in fact most of the books have sat there for 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years, too many remaining unread. By contrast, the view out of the window is in a constant state of change as nature perpetually rearranges itself, although this morning that change is in slow-motion or, perhaps more accurately, is smooth and relaxed. Garden shrubs are moving slowly in a gentle breeze; clouds are drifting almost imperceptibly slowly against a blue sky. Only the birds are operating at ‘normal’ speed.

I am staring at the books again. I am three-quarters of the way through a book at the moment so find myself thinking, but not in a particularly deep or decisive way, about which I should read next. My eyes are, without any thought on my part, drifting aimlessly amongst the spines; I am thinking I ought to have intent, but intention is seemingly absent. After a few seconds I cease to see the titles; I am simply aware of my eyes, guided by my brain, drifting randomly over the books, inducing an almost trance-like state. Could it be that part of my brain is saying ‘pick a book to read’ whilst the other is telling me ‘no – put it off and relax’? Could my brain really be in a state of quantum superposition, where two different outcomes coexist simultaneously?

Who knowns. Not me, and it’s my brain! Anyway, with my thoughts caught in an event horizon I think I had better get up off the settee, venture into the kitchen and make another cappuccino. Now there’s another superposition: coffee to both stimulate and relax. I think I’d better stop there before I disappear from existence like somebody’s cat. Don’t open the box!