Substack diary no.154: Friday, 15th. May 2026

It is bright and sunny out there and with only a light breeze that feels calm after the relative battering of the week so far. It is sunny outside but my disposition this morning is anything but. A cloud hangs over my head – I am angry with myself for spending money on a few items I do not have a budget for: a magazine, a packet of mints and a box of camomile infusion tea-bags. My failure to constrain myself gets me down and I suffer as a result. It is these lapses that I try to prevent by remaining indoors at home for a week or two, never venturing beyond the confines of my garden.

I had to be in town yesterday for an appointment and to collect my regular medication from Boots. I can cheer myself up somewhat by reminding myself that I can, more often than not, resist the urge to spend money I do not have or, more accurately, that I have but which must go on groceries, energy and other essentials.

Prior to retirement popping into town was a pleasure that often involved a coffee, a beer or two and buying a book or a magazine to read. Since retirement I cannot afford to do that more than twice a month,  although buying books and magazines is out of the question, and I have learned to live (almost) within my means pretty well. I had no idea that living on a pension would be so tough, and for most pensioners it isn’t. I failed to foresee two substantial rent increases applied by my landlord, my reward for keeping his house looking smart and in good order and for keeping his repair bill down to almost £zero.

The cloud over my head has dissipated somewhat and, perversely, it is now grey and raining outside! The weather can change very quickly and, luckily, so can my mood. Having written this I already feel better, although I feel I must apologise to all those people in south Devon for transferring the cloud from my sitting room to the sky outside!