Unhinged in time

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Clocks go back; head can’t cope

Diary entry for 31st October 2021 @ 09:12 GMT; weather 12ºC, blue sky, some light cloud, moderate blustery wind, dry.

The clocks ‘went back’ during the night – as the saying goes. Pretty daft saying if you ask me. Where could they possibly go; back to the box they came out of? That would be silly. What we really mean is that they ‘go back an hour’. Which is even sillier when you think about it.

Of course, not all clocks ‘go back’ of their own accord so whilst it is 9 o’clock on my wrist it is 10 o’clock on the kitchen wall. I shall put up with living in two time zones simultaneously for the time being, until I can find the time to change all the clocks that require changing. Until then I can exist in my sitting room with my cappuccino and my iPad and pretend I am a strange quantum entity that exists in two times at once. Odd. I do not actually feel like a strange quantum entity. But perhaps that is the whole point: why would I be aware of something like that?

Anyway, I shall sit still for a while. I do not want to move just in case my iPad disappears, only to reappear in the exact same spot an hour later. Oh dear. I can cope with being strange; I rather like that. But the quantum bit is beginning to get me down.

Back in the world and a few floors up from the quantum one, I have to admit that I actually forgot that the clocks ‘went back’ during the night. Were it not for my electronic gadgets I would be blissfully unaware that we had shifted in time and somehow managed to lose an entire hour. Did anybody die in that hour? My goodness, what happened to them?!

Of course, if I were to switch on the wireless I would find that The Archers too had lost an hour, which would provide comfort of sorts. But no… wait a minute… that was recorded before the lost hour quantum event… how did they know? Are The Archers unhinged in time? Are they, alas, quantum beings that exist outside of time?

I can’t cope with all this. Perhaps I should just go back to bed for an hour and, hopefully, wake up in good old British Summer Time.

But, wait a minute, how do I know the world of British Summer Time is any better than the world of Greenwich Mean Time? I don’t! I have no clue!!

My cappuccino cup is empty. It was full before. Now it is empty. That proves the passage of time and I realise my cappuccino has no idea what brand of time it is – GMT or BST. It is just time. Now I feel better. Cappuccino always has that effect on me.

Time for another cappuccino….?

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