USA Day 7 part 2: to the Biggest Mall in America! And I bought Levi’s…

USA 2016 part 11: Thursday 17th November @ Minneapolis

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I found numbers cropping up a lot whilst in Minnesota: 10,000 lakes; the Wall of 1,000 stars – and now the biggest shopping mall in the USA! This was every capitalists wet dream: a giant opportunity to spend money – more money than we (probably) have on more things we (probably) don’t really need.

Magnificent though it is I am not a fan of malls, although I admit I use them back in Britain. Call me old-fashioned or quaint, but I prefer local shops and markets run by local people where the money we spend stands a far better chance of circulating in the local economy.

This shopping emporium was modestly called The Mall of America, as if nothing else mattered. It is big. I shed quite a few calories walking around it. It was so big that I couldn’t understand why shoppers weren’t offered golf carts to get around; this is America after all.

My hosts were immensely proud of this vast retail extravaganza, hence why they brought me here. It’s mostly chain stores and is rather soul-less: no different to most other malls in any other part of the country. Were it not for the snow and overcoats this could be Arizona.

If I was under the age of 15 I think I would like it if my parents came here shopping: it has a pretty damn good theme park right in the centre – Nickelodeon Universe. Note the lack of kids in the photos – it was spookily quiet. I assumed that was because they were all at school, no doubt learning how to become full-time paid-up members of a high-mass consumption society. It’s a wonder they don’t organise geography field trips to the mall to test the kids orienteering skills. They’ll be spending a lot of time here one day.

Oh, and guess what: I did my bit by purchasing myself – two pairs of Levi’s from, of all places, the Levi’s store. Macy’s and Penney’s only had slim-boy sizes. Now there’s proof if ever you needed it: walk three times round this mall and you could fit into slim-boy jeans too! Before I left home I would never have dreamt that I would purchase Levi’s in Minneapolis; California yes. New York maybe. But not Minneapolis. How wrong I was!

Incidentally, I was somewhat taken aback in the Levi’s store when the person I took to be the manager pointed at me enraptured and beside himself with joy. No, it wasn’t because of me as such, but the t-shirt I was wearing – the same one you can see me wearing in the Wall of Stars blog post. Minneapolis is the last place I would have expected to find someone who knew about Studio 1, the famous Jamaican home of great ska and reggae. But he sure as hell did, and I thank him for it. You made my day my man! I bought two pairs of Levi’s….!